Wow. That is question to end all questions. Could you imagine the impact of understanding peoples why? I understand why it is I do things that I do. Unless we look at poor decision…. then I wonder what the heck I was thinking!
I have thought about this… and I have actually talked about it during my service meetings. This is what I think. I think we are reactive creatures by nature. We react to everything or nothing. If you touch something hot, you either like the sensation and choose to continue touching it, or you find that it hurts, therefore removing yourself from the sensation. So, if you knew that when someone smiles at you, it makes you feel nice inside, would you want that feeling? To feel nice inside? I know that I do.
If this is true, then it would seem if I smiled at others more often, they would probably feel good inside, and if everyone did this… we may just have a society that likes to be around each other.
I also think that we have the power to be proactive and not just reactive. Lets look at how you deal with someone being mean to you. There was a time I could get pretty angry. Really, depending on the situation, I can and do anger now. See I have a low tolerance for bully’s, mean people and liars. The point of focus is that someone did something that caused me to anger. Emphasis on “me to anger.” No one else angered, except for me. If I am in control of myself, that should not happen. Because basically, that means that I am letting others determine my emotions and outcomes. I am letting words or actions control me.
Are you okay with that???! I am not. I would hope that I could find it within myself to pull my control tight and not react. But we all have events that have occurred in our life that has molded us into who we are today.
Bully’s and mean people feed on our reactions. It is their food. If you do not feed the bully, it cannot survive.
I wish you strength in your pursuit to inspire others with simple things, like a smile.
Yesterday as the rain was approaching, I decided to try to salvage some of my Colorado pictures that were taken by my phone. I have a few to share with you. I was a little miffed because Colorado was amazing!! But my pictures were horrible. At least compared to my memory of it. So I worked with a little b/w and just got a little deep with a couple of them.
This was taken towards the top of the Grand Mesa, near Grand Junction, CO. It was 78 degrees at the bottom and it was 39 degrees at this point. We went up a little further, that is until a sign read “danger… high winds.” This was the point where I was turning a tight corner and all I could see around the bend was open sky. I will admit that I freaked out a bit. My lovely husband took over the driving and we went back down the mountain.
The hub and I decided that we would leave the confines of the KOA in Grand Junction and head to a State Park. Remember that this was like the 3rd time we had even camped. Crazy is what we were. As the story goes, we arrived and I was amazed at the view. There was mountains in every direction we looked. We also had the view of the Colorado River running through the park. Aces.
We did some trailing at another State Park in Grand Junction. There were a gazillion trails for all levels.
Some were a little exciting. You know water, rock slides and steep drop offs. This one was one drop off after another. It was gorgeous. I had to keep myself in check to stay on the trail.
I think this may have been Hell’s Kitchen, but I am not sure. We walked forever along a partially dried creek and ended up here. We ended up climbing up the right side and found the coolest structures.
I hope its not just me, but the rock on the right is a face… yes? Hell, half the time we weren’t sure if we were on the path or not. Thank God for a great trail app called, All Trails. It allowed me to see others in the area, take photos along the way and use GPS on the map while trailing.
I hope that you all are blessed with seeing the good in the things around you.
My mind is a constant cycle of what needs to be done, what is in process, who is processing them, what is the next step, how can I do it better, and what is my next project. It really never stops. My mom died when I was 15 and it dramatically affected my psycho-social behavior. You know… the typical pulling away from social circles and finding something else to focus on. So, I did just that! In doing so, I was able to aim my focus on work, skills, dance and music. These venues allowed me to grow in a positive manner.
Luckily, these series of events in my life took me into healthcare. I am pretty sure that I have some type of attention deficit disorder, as many of my family and friends have told me, time and time again. I am also an “all in” type of person, who is slightly OCD (don’t laugh Kristi) and type A personality. How in the world I have developed a knack for art, I really have no idea. My sister tells me that my father was a closet artist and would draw the most bizarre pictures. So, maybe it was my dad, maybe it was just the time when my buddies made me do a paint night, that sparked my passion. I really am not sure, and really don’t care. What I do care about is that I totally disconnect when I am immersed in art. Whether it is music, drawing, drumming, photos or writing, I can be “disconnected” for hours and not even realize it.
So, long story longer, I love getting out of my head. It takes me away from all of my responsibilities, worries and concerns.
At that moment when I am taking pictures or drawing, I am me.
I am conceptualizing what is beyond the image in front of me.
I hope that all of you have a way to disconnect. Having a release valve not only helps me, but also assists everyone around me. Just ask my husband. He says thumbs up!
Let your love of life be projected in things you do.
How can you move past your stressors? As you enter into this fabulous 2018, you are dwindling inward, due to the short days, lack of sun, or cold weather. Many people suffer these depressed states during this time of year. Hell, I just made 3 new year goals, its crazy busy for me at work, my husband is preparing to go back to school and my class starts this weekend. Along with those short days, no sun and it being down right cold, it is hard for me to have the ambition to stay on track. When I can’t stay on track, I eat worse, I sleep poorly, my attitude sours. All of this starts a spinning effect and there is little one can to do stop it…….. Bull!! YOU can stop it! I can stop it! We just have to get past our mind, push those ego suckers away and find what can improve our outcomes. Trust me. There are enough obstacles every day for you, that you do NOT need to one of them.
So, what do we do to improve our stress and outcomes? You are going to have to get a piece of paper, or pull up a document on your computer and then,
Write down your biggest stressors.
Be real with your list.
What can you do about each stressor?
This will help you prioritize your stress. That way you can focus on what really matters. You will also recognize that some things are facts or structures. If I have a chronic disease, I should recognize that this is not a stressor, but a normal part of me, like my nose. This helps me recognize that my stressors surrounding my chronic disease will be what I can do to improve or worsen my condition.
How long will that stress be on your radar?
If it is a bill that you have set up payments, is it a stress anymore?
Can you move these things off your list?
Once you have recognized these triggers, start tackling them in priority. You may need to cry, scream, or call a friend, as you recognize the stress. Make sure you be true to yourself and really think about it. You may find that once you write it down, it is less of a stress. The reason that happens, is because our minds can trick us. They can take one scene and change it into something that is far from reality.
Cold weather and poor driving conditions is a huge stressor for me. Should it affect my day to day life? Not unless I live in an area that produces these conditions all of the time. Yet, during winter, when I have to drive, especially at night, I freak out. I was telling a friend the other day about this stupid dream I used to have repeatedly. When I say used to, I mean this was probably 20 years ago. Yep, still gives me worry.
I am driving home late night. Nobody else is out on the road. A group of deer are running across the road and stop. I start to brake, while my heart starts racing. As the deer sense my proximity, the buck looks up at me. I am still trying to slow down my car. The road is slick with dew that is freezing. As I approach, I can see the breathing of the buck quicken, by puffs of white condensation emanating from his nose. The other deer scatter, but not the buck. We have eyes locked on each other. Just as the car hits, he turn and jumps right at my vehicle. He slides through the window. My car stops. It’s cold. I can’t move. I am pinned to seat. The buck’s antlers punctured my neck. I am bleeding and my throat is compressed. I can’t even speak. Then I wake up.
This dream is what increases my anxiety during the winter. I know it like the back of my hand. So, how do I get past it? I have to realize it was a dream. Yep, it could happen, but low probability. Anything could happen at any time, but I shouldn’t dwell on it.
Once you recognize your stress, you need to recognize what activities decrease your stress. Decreasing your stress will improve your life, health and outcomes. I have recognized that these things decrease my stress:
Talking to my husband and children
Making a list of tasks – I make it long and define each task, so that I have more to check off and feel more accomplished.
Establishing order in my presence – I like clean and organized areas. It makes an environment that I can be uber productive.
Working with art, in the forms of music, photography, writing, drawing and painting.
Exercising – Lord or Lord do I feel good when I exercise regularly. It is like a drug. I feel amazing.
Now you need to define what decreases your stress and work on it. Make sure to set aside time regularly, that you can use your techniques to keep stress levels low. YOU can decrease your stress. YOU can recognize what you need. YOU can take control of YOU and your health. YOU can get past your mind by realizing what is stress and what you can do about it. YOU can make a plan using your goals and stress points as your guide to improve your mind, body and spirit.
Recognize, Prioritize, De-Stress and Your Outcomes Will Improve
Perception. That is a tricky bastard. For almost everyone, perception is reality. Do you know what I am talking about? Of course you do. Have you ever known someone in a relationship who thought there was a transgression by their partner? Most people cannot get past their head and perception to look for the truth. Basically, if they believe it is the truth, then to them it is the truth.
Recently I published a blog about how words can impact others. Those words, if they are false, can change the worlds perception of your subject. For example, I could have the worst smelling feet. Yet I told everyone that my feet smelled like the most amazing beach that I have ever been to. Believe it or not, the perception will change regarding my feet. Okay. So that was a good example. But go back to the person who thought that their partner had cheated. More than likely this person has been thinking about this situation for quite a while. Basically has trained their mind to believe this was the case. To them, it is true. Even if it is not, or has no basis. I am not saying that partners do not cheat, but this was just an example that can hit close to home, with strong emotions.
Now, lets think about not only words, because we know that our body language and who we are with, represent much of the perception. So, if I held my head high and shoulders back then every where I went, this was my body resting style, what would the public think? I am super confident, maybe even snooty?! While, in reality, I am super quiet and an introvert (Not really…. again… just an example).
The point of this blog is to remind people that perception is reality, even if it isn’t. This is important to know, because if you want the perception of your business, yourself, or even the world and faith in humanity, to be positive, we must help the consumption of perception by assuring that how we are representing things like, your business, yourself, or even the world and faith in humanity, are positive or in the light we want them represented.
Be Yourself and Have Faith that YOU are Enough…. because YOU are Enough.